Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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