Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
