So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
