i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
