put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
