And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
