just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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