She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My vagina just recognized that song.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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