On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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