I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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