Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize