My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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