This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize