Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
