D3 body, D1 cock
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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