the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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