There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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