Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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