Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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