Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
