FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
