Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
