he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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