wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
