I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize