I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
