please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
