Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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