ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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