Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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