it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
