So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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