Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
