You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
