you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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