turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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