I heard we made out
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
