I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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