would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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