Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
