There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize