you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
