There was a lot of him and a little penis
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize