I hate all girls vehemently.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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