Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
