Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
