Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We need to rekindle our bromance
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
