I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
