your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
