So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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