OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
