And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize