My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i dont even know how to be here
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
