I'm gonna have a badass scar
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
