i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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