omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
