it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
