If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
