i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
