never play flip cup with pint glasses
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
