my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
