You really coming over, don't trick.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize